Now, wait just a minute here. Let's get the facts straight. Bats don't build nests in women's hair. They don't get tangled up in the strands of beautiful blond hair. That's an old wives' tale. I don't know the name of the old wife who said it, but it is an untrue tale.

It's true, it has been known to happen. A bat may be seen on occasion diving toward someone's hair... BUT... it's not what you think. The bats are totally innocent little creatures. They are just looking for insects to eat. They can't help it if that insect happens to be in the middle of a towering stack of hair.

Elizabeth, the woman who went frantically running down the street, should just calm down, take a moment to shake the mosquitoes out of her hair, and go about her business as usual.

THE VAMPIRE BATS WERE ATTACKING JONATHAN

The night was dark, so dark that Jonathan could scarcely see his hand in front of his eyes. He didn't need to see, he knew they were there. In the dark of night, he could feel them. The black creatures needed no light, they could see in the dark. Jonathan was 6'7" tall, the creatures were tiny, still in the silence of night, he feared them. He should not have been afraid, but he was. Sweat poured off his forehead. He could feel his blood surge through his veins. He thought about blood and shivered. They were out there, alright... in the darkness. Vampire bats were waiting for him. Waiting to such his blood.

Jonathan was right, bats do have the ability to navigate in the dark. They use their echolation process. Using sound, they are not likely to run into any huge human beings. Bats are not blind. They are not looking for blood. Most bats eat insects and fruit.

Vampire bats account for only 3 species of bats out of 1000. And they do not suck blood out of people. Mostly they feed on animals. They puncture the animal's skin with their teeth and then the lick up the blood as it pours out. Getting blood from other animals may be creepy, but they do not turn humans into vampires.

If that is true, if bats don't such blood, then where did the stories about the horror of vampire bats come from?

DRACULA

Point your finger right at Bram Stoker, the author of Dracula. He put into our minds the fear of turning into a vampire. His Dracula story allowed the transformation between Dracula and bats. Dracula the bloodsucking vampire... The horror of the night... Once bitten you were one of THEM.

Actually, bats are mammals just like human beings. They are of order Chirotera. This is one of those Greek words meaning "hand wing". Humans are quite lucky mammals... their hands and arms did not morph into wings.

THE BATS OF AUSTIN

Go check it out for yourself. Go find a bat.

Where?

Deep inside a cave.

I was inside a cave in Austin, Texas when the guide paused. She said, "Be careful, there is a bat down there over that low walkway. We have to walk right underneath him."

I held my breath waiting for her to mention vampires... blood... and danger.

My fight or flight system made a decision, "Run!"

Then the guide calmly said, "The bat is asleep. Don't wake him up. We don't want to disturb him."

"But what about vampires," I gulped.

She looked at me, shook her head, and motioned for the rest of the group to continue on.

Okay, back to the "hand wing". If you do not have a cave to roam around in, then go to your closet and get out your Dracula cape. Put the cape on, then reach out and grab one side of the cape in your hand, then reach out and grab the other side of the cape in your other hand. Now, unfortunately, you can never let go. Your hands and arms have melded into the cape. You and the cape are one for evermore. You may now apply for membership into the biological order Chiroptera.

Other places to see bats:

I have seen bats in trees at night when I walk down to the mailbox.
I have seen bats hanging under overpasses when I ride my bicycle.

But the place to see bats in North America is by far... Congress Avenue Bridge in Austin, Texas where up to 1.5 million bats fly at night. Tourists line the bridges to watch the bats fly at sunset.

Elizabeth, the frantic lady at the begging of our story, should stay indoors at sunset and protect her hair. With 1.5 million flying bats, one might just accidentally land there.

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